it's probably not a good idea to underestimate my ability to make an ass out of myself—just when I seem to have it under control, I'll turn around and surprise you.
---- Tenser said the Tensor

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
---- Edward Abbey

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.
---- George Orwell

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
---- anonymous

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
---- Isaac Newton

It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
---- Arnold Toynbee

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
---- Mitch Hedberg

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster!
---- unknown

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
---- Thomas A. Edison

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
---- Doug Larson

Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.
---- Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1519)

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
---- Arnold Lobel

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
---- Evan Esar

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.
---- Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?"
---- Kelvin Throop III

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
---- Galileo Galilei

Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.
---- J. Robert Oppenheimer

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
---- Isaac Asimov

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
---- Edward R. Murrow

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
---- Robert Frost

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.
---- Pablo Picasso

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

As soon as I buy the moose head, I have to go pick up some KY jelly.
---- Mary Roninette Kowal