"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
---- Sam Levenson

As soon as I buy the moose head, I have to go pick up some KY jelly.
---- Mary Roninette Kowal

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.
---- George Orwell

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
---- Kin Hubbard

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
---- Terry Pratchett

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
---- Edward R. Murrow

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?"
---- Kelvin Throop III

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.
---- Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

This may be the most interesting blog theme I've ever seen. http://eflgeek.com/index.php Definitely in my top 5 at least.
---- Steve Dembo

it's probably not a good idea to underestimate my ability to make an ass out of myself—just when I seem to have it under control, I'll turn around and surprise you.
---- Tenser said the Tensor

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
---- M. Cartmill

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
---- Doug Larson

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
---- Terry Pratchett

Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs.
---- Jack Lynch

To have another language is to possess a second soul.
---- Charlemagne

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
---- Robert Copeland

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
---- Isaac Newton

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
---- H. G. Wells

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
---- Mitch Hedberg

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
---- anonymous

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster!
---- unknown

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
---- Franklin D. Roosevelt