Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
---- Thomas A. Edison

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
---- Malcom Forbes

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
---- Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.
---- Pablo Picasso

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.
---- Albert Einstein

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
---- Arnold Lobel

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
---- Robert Frost

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

As soon as I buy the moose head, I have to go pick up some KY jelly.
---- Mary Roninette Kowal

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
---- Galileo Galilei

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.
---- Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.
---- Edward R. Murrow

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
---- Sam Levenson

Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs.
---- Jack Lynch

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
---- Isaac Newton

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
---- Terry Pratchett

it's probably not a good idea to underestimate my ability to make an ass out of myself—just when I seem to have it under control, I'll turn around and surprise you.
---- Tenser said the Tensor

It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
---- Arnold Toynbee

Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.
---- J. Robert Oppenheimer

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
---- H. G. Wells

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
---- Kin Hubbard