Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
---- Sam Levenson

I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.
---- Albert Einstein

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.
---- George Orwell

it's probably not a good idea to underestimate my ability to make an ass out of myself—just when I seem to have it under control, I'll turn around and surprise you.
---- Tenser said the Tensor

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
---- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.
---- Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
---- Thomas A. Edison

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
---- Edward Abbey

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster!
---- unknown

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
---- John Ciardi

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

As soon as I buy the moose head, I have to go pick up some KY jelly.
---- Mary Roninette Kowal

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?"
---- Kelvin Throop III

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
---- Thomas A. Edison

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
---- Isaac Asimov

Technology will not replace teachers...teachers who use technology will
probably replace teachers who do not.
---- Ray Clifford

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
---- Arnold Lobel

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
---- Galileo Galilei

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
---- M. Cartmill

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
---- Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
---- Malcom Forbes

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
---- H. G. Wells