As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
---- M. Cartmill

Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.
---- J. Robert Oppenheimer

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
---- Arnold Lobel

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

The least of learning is done in the classrooms
---- Thomas Merton

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
---- John Ciardi

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
---- Malcom Forbes

To have another language is to possess a second soul.
---- Charlemagne

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
---- Terry Pratchett

it's probably not a good idea to underestimate my ability to make an ass out of myself—just when I seem to have it under control, I'll turn around and surprise you.
---- Tenser said the Tensor

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.
---- George Orwell

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
---- Doug Larson

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
---- anonymous

Technology will not replace teachers...teachers who use technology will
probably replace teachers who do not.
---- Ray Clifford

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
---- Sam Levenson

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
---- Robert Copeland

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
---- Kin Hubbard

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
---- Terry Pratchett

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
---- Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
---- Edward Abbey

As soon as I buy the moose head, I have to go pick up some KY jelly.
---- Mary Roninette Kowal

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
---- Isaac Newton