If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
---- Doug Larson

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?"
---- Kelvin Throop III

Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.
---- Abigail Adams (1744 - 1818)

As soon as I buy the moose head, I have to go pick up some KY jelly.
---- Mary Roninette Kowal

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
---- anonymous

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
---- Robert Copeland

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
---- Mitch Hedberg

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
---- Evan Esar

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
---- John Ciardi

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
---- Isaac Newton

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
---- Albert Einstein

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
---- Isaac Asimov

Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.
---- Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1519)

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
---- M. Cartmill

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
---- Franklin D. Roosevelt

It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
---- Arnold Toynbee

The voodoo priest and all his powders were as nothing compared to espresso, cappuccino, and mocha, which are stronger than all the religions of the world combined, and perhaps stronger than the human soul itself.
---- Mark Helprin, Memoir from Antproof Case, 1995

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
---- Terry Pratchett

Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over IBM versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs.
---- Jack Lynch

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
---- Edward Abbey

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
---- Arnold Lobel

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
---- H. G. Wells