Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
---- Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.
---- Pablo Picasso

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain't nothin' can beat teamwork.
---- Edward Abbey

Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?"
---- Kelvin Throop III

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
---- Galileo Galilei

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
---- Thomas A. Edison

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
---- Mitch Hedberg

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
---- Kin Hubbard

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
---- H. G. Wells

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
---- anonymous

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
---- Arnold Lobel

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
---- Doug Larson

I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn.
---- Albert Einstein

To have another language is to possess a second soul.
---- Charlemagne

Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.
---- Isaac Newton

it's probably not a good idea to underestimate my ability to make an ass out of myself—just when I seem to have it under control, I'll turn around and surprise you.
---- Tenser said the Tensor

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
---- Terry Pratchett

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.
---- John Ciardi

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
---- Terry Pratchett

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
---- Robert Copeland

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life - so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
---- M. Cartmill