As soon as I buy the moose head, I have to go pick up some KY jelly.
---- Mary Roninette Kowal

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
---- Thomas A. Edison

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
---- Gail Godwin

I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
---- Galileo Galilei

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

The least of learning is done in the classrooms
---- Thomas Merton

Technology will not replace teachers...teachers who use technology will
probably replace teachers who do not.
---- Ray Clifford

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
---- Evan Esar

Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
---- Kin Hubbard

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
---- Lily Tomlin

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.
---- George Orwell

To have another language is to possess a second soul.
---- Charlemagne

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
---- Mitch Hedberg

"It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'"
---- Sam Levenson

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
---- Doug Larson

It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
---- Arnold Toynbee

A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
---- anonymous

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
---- Sheik Abd-al-Kadir

Those who know nothing of foreign languages, knows nothing of their own.”
---- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749 -1832)

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
---- Fred Allen

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
---- Author Unknown

Books to the ceiling,
Books to the sky,
My pile of books is a mile high.
How I love them! How I need them!
I'll have a long beard by the time I read them.
---- Arnold Lobel

Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.
---- J. Robert Oppenheimer

it's probably not a good idea to underestimate my ability to make an ass out of myself—just when I seem to have it under control, I'll turn around and surprise you.
---- Tenser said the Tensor

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.
---- Pablo Picasso